Best for the Children

All of us have watched the marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin fall into an abyss that is somewhat expected and a terrible sight to see. As a newlywed (a little over 2 years) and expecting, I asked myself: what did they do or not do to make sure their marriage stay intact. I have come up with more than a few answers but one answer really sticks out in my head: we do what’s best for the children.

I wonder how much thought has really gone into those words. What is best for the children? I bet it’s not divorce. I bet it’s not seeing weaknesses that are never worked on. I bet it’s not seeing parents regularly get pushed to their limits and snap. My suspicion is it’s the children seeing a loving relationship between their parents. I bet it’s seeing integrity, virtue, and values that build, not tear down relationships.

Here’s the kicker, it’s so easy to focus on the children’s needs and wants, that we miss one of the fundamental building blocks for raising our children: building a strong marriage as a couple. We’re only pregnant and our sole focus is getting a healthy Leigh Anne and Caleb through the birth…and he’s not even born yet!

So, I leave you with two questions:

1. If you are a parent, what are you doing to keep your marriage first?
2. Would you as a community of folks who support us, keep Leigh Anne and I accountable to keeping our marriage first in spite of a culture that reinforces the “children first” mantra?

Agree? Disagree? Drop a line and let me know.